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High School Boys Stink at Asking Girls Out

Having spent most of the morning with several high school students at Career Day, I’m not surprised that many of them are having a hard time getting dates.

To preface my discussion on effective questioning techniques, I had a male volunteer ask a female volunteer out on a date. After minimal small-talk, the volunteers asked similar questions:

“Do you want to go to the concert with me on Friday?”
“Do you want to go out this Saturday?”
“I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me this weekend?”
And my personal favorite, “We should go out this Saturday…you down?”

Although the female volunteers responded in the affirmative, it’s generally not that easy to secure plans for the weekend.

Most of the time (especially in a sales setting), asking yes/no questions yield the answers we don’t want to hear.

Asking effective find-out questions is a much better way to start the process of getting what you want.

For example, before asking somebody on a date you could ask:

“So what plans do you have this weekend?”
“Have you tried the new Italian restaurant that just opened?”
“When was the last time you saw a good movie?”

Find-out questions such as these allow you to gather valuable information before extending an invitation.

Unfortunately, after asking great find-out questions, most people revert back to a yes/no question as their close. For example:

“Since you don’t have any plans, do you want to go out?”
“Do you want to go try the new restaurant with me?”
“It’s been a while since you’ve been to the movies, how would you like to go see a move with me on Friday?”

A better close would be an assumptive close which I have detailed in Door-to-Door Millionaire. Assumptive closes give your date (or potential client) at least two options to consider, both of which give you a desired result. For example:

“I’d like to take you out this weekend, would you prefer going to a movie or bowling?”
“Let’s hang out on Saturday…would you rather eat at the new Italian restaurant or get some sushi?”
“Should we get dinner before or after the concert on Friday?”

When assuming a close instead of asking for it, you will be much more likely to achieve your desired result. Which in turn, equates to more sales or possibly better, more dates.